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johny5

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Mortartube

So I went into a pet shop and said.......

I want to buy a wasp. The guy behind the counter said "We don't sell wasps". I said "Well, you've got one in the window".
13:56 Sun 23rd Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 05:15 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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jd_here

Ed Zachary Disease

Ed Zachary Disease A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the...
14:02 Sun 23rd Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 05:14 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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Postdog

daddy long legs

Little Susie was with her dad in the garden and they saw a couple of Daddy long legs at it. "oh look at that" said Susie. "That daddy long legs is being friendly with that mummy long legs" "No dear"...
14:08 Sun 23rd Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 05:12 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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gelda

Australian sensitivity

Three aussies working on a building site, Steve falls off the scaffolding and is killed instantly, As the ambulance pulls away Bruce says 'somebody should tell his wife, Bluey says 'I'm pretty good at...
21:43 Sun 23rd Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 05:08 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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Leachy10

Kids Today

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange... It's a good job they've all got knives then.
23:26 Sun 23rd Nov 20082 answers, last by johny5 05:06 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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Leachy10

New work scheme

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in Britain, my work has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will...
23:30 Sun 23rd Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 05:05 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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chillipepper

Preservatives?

Whats the difference between Jam and Marmalade? You can't Marmalade your willy up your girlfriends bum.
19:17 Mon 24th Nov 20088 answers, last by chillipepper 14:09 Tue 02nd Dec 2008
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knobby...

So where

is the joke section then? its supposed to be here
18:01 Thu 27th Nov 20084 answers, last by Gillz88uk 16:58 Fri 12th Dec 2008
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BillySugger

Swimming pool

What do you call a man with no legs in a swimming pool ?...
18:51 Fri 28th Nov 20084 answers, last by crisgal 21:17 Mon 01st Dec 2008
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MrBen5

Hmmm

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "F off, you won't bring it back."
20:29 Fri 28th Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 04:53 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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MrBen5

Hmmm 2

An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before,...
20:31 Fri 28th Nov 20083 answers, last by johny5 04:52 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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MrBen5

Hmmm 3

How does every Muslim joke start? By looking over your shoulder!
20:33 Fri 28th Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 04:50 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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MrBen5

Hmmm 4

A man walks into a petrol station and says "Can I please have a kitkat, chunky". The lady behind the till gets him a kitkat chunky and brings it back to him. "No" says the man. "I wanted a normal...
20:35 Fri 28th Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 04:49 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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MrBen5

Hmmm 5

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but f*ck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!
20:40 Fri 28th Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 04:48 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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KageTora

River Mersey

Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool? Because if it walked it'd get mugged!
02:53 Sat 29th Nov 20087 answers, last by KageTora 21:08 Tue 02nd Dec 2008
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KageTora

Blind feller on a trip around the world

A blind feller wins the lottery and decides to take his wife on a non-stop trip around the world by plane. He says to his wife, "we are not going to stop anywhere, I will just stick my hand out the...
03:39 Sat 29th Nov 20081 answer, last by johny5 04:45 Sun 30th Nov 2008
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wasp

bradford mumbai copycats

Police report claims gangs of armed muslims on rampage in Bradford killing British passport holders. Police believe death toll could be as high as ten
11:44 Sat 29th Nov 200811 answers, last by Electrochem 10:02 Mon 01st Dec 2008
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ddaisy992

are you a lefty or a righty?

handed I mean! Does it have an influens on you or your chosen job? I am a lefty which is meant too be a sign of creativity. I love painting an decorating ha ha!
21:34 Mon 17th Nov 200810 answers, last by no.knowledge 22:46 Mon 17th Nov 2008
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johny5

iron maiden

Never heard any of there albums but would like to, theres just so many. What is the best album for a first time listener?
14:49 Fri 07th Nov 20085 answers, last by johny5 12:53 Sat 08th Nov 2008
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johny5

Please Help

Is there anywhere on the net were i can check how many top 40 hits, top 10 hits, number one's a band has had?
14:45 Thu 06th Nov 20083 answers, last by johny5 14:55 Thu 06th Nov 2008

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