Big burly irishman is standing at the bar having a drink and a wee tiny man standing beside him whispered in his ear "would you like a blxx job" - next thing the big man beat him and beat him out of the bar and when he went back the barman said "what happened there" - he replied "I dont know - I couldnt really hear him but he said something about a job"
A man in a hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?" The nurse raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says " There is nothing wrong with them sir!"
The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very very slowly " Thanks for that , it was just wonderful but listen very , very closely and carefully................... Are - my - test - results - back !!!!
A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a cake while her dad gets his hair cut. Barber smiles to the girl and says " your going to get hair all over that muffin!"
" I know" She replies, "Im gonna get tits too you dirty old *******!!!"
polar bear goes into a bar,
the bear says ' i would like.....................................................
.......................................................a gin and tonic please'
the barman says ' why the big (pause)'