I don't know about everyone else and how they end up with these a**holes but I was fostered and was so desperate for someone to love me that when I went with my ex I thought finally someone wanted me. He was nice at the start but then started manipulating me and hitting me. He took my money from me, he threatened me with a knife on 2 occassions, he threatened me with a hammer, he wouldn't let me out to see my friends, he checked my phone for messages and calls, he told me I had no one else in the world except him and therefore was better off with him than by myself and alone. He knew about my past of being fostered and threatened to tell people things I wouldn't have wanted them to know. Domestic violence is not always about physical abuse, it is also about mental/emotional and financial abuse. When someone brainwashes you by telling you something again and again and you are too ashamed to tell anyone about your bruises and you have no money you have no choice other than to stay with them until you build up the courage to leave. I had to phone the police when I finally did tell him I was going, I wanted to go but couldn't build up the courage for years as I was so frightened of what his reaction would be.
I would like to believe that no one would lie about being in such a bad situation Raggy, so please don't say things that could be hurtful to people that have been in this situation.