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hi jd.....yes perhaps i am sensitive about my disabilities and medication (sorry mags!). some people quite obviously think i like the drugs i take and use them in order to get high; when in actual fact the painkillers, fentanyl patch and psychiatric drugs i take leave me feeling awful all of the time, i struggle to stay awake and i spend every spare hour of my life asleep.
my pain is always still there and is really hard to deal with - the pain clinic here is absolutely rubbish; and it seems you have to suffer extreme pain for a sustained period before they reassess your treatment and do something about it (which wouldn't happen in other branches of medicine). so.....i am always in a lot of pain, struggle through my working day and then fall asleep the minute i get home. not really a pleasant life, but it's the only one i have.
doing my back in this morning has been awful.....any 'extra' pain i experience (whether breaking a toe, banging my leg against my bed when i get up, a migraine etc.) is not covered by the meds i regularly take. so i have a high pain threshold and am concerned that my back hurts so much. i went up stairs to the loo a while ago and it took me 1/2 hour to get up and down the stairs. sitting bolt upright on my sofa with a hot water bottle and lots of comfy pillows is also good.....but boring.
i am still going to wait and see how my back goes and the pain levels going on.....i will probably call the gp tomorrow for further advice etc. or deal with an emergency if necessary. thank you for your kind words, i do appreciate them....even if that doesn't come across all the time x